








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
380 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 909 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 236 | 26% |
| Smokes | 73 | 8% |
| HE Grenades | 230 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 370 | 41% |
Our logs show you have wasted $69,282 of utility $40 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Beaf | 44% | 63 |
| #6 | Apollo | 44% | 85 |
| #7 | Bill Nye The Science Guy | 40% | 5 |
| #8 | killa | 40% | 5 |
| #9 | Amadeus | 33% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Apollo | 278 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #2 | Beaf | 53 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #3 | ForgeRezin | 35 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #4 | Bullet | 15 | 0.17 | 0 min |
| #5 | Amadeus | 9 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bullet | +7.60 | 94 | 61 |
| #2 | Amadeus | +7.30 | 66 | 65 |
| #3 | Apollo | +4.06 | 44 | 58 |
| #4 | Bill Nye The Science Guy | +2.25 | 18 | 10 |
| #5 | ForgeRezin | +1.89 | 56 | 58 |





