








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1533 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 857 matches | ||
| Faceit | 131 matches | ||
| Wingman | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 137 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




67 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10712 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,450 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4457 | 18% |
| Smokes | 6938 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 8349 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 5706 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,740,378 of utility $179 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2172 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Steel™ | 761 | 0.15 | 19 min |
| #2 | fa0 | 581 | 0.26 | 13 min |
| #3 | Kaema-_- | 363 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| #4 | tanner | 344 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #5 | 2d gamba | 296 | 0.12 | 7 min |





