








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 355 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 114 matches | ||
| Wingman | 86 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 86 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 82 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 24 matches | ||
| Premier | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




72 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2129 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,391 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1506 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2241 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 1427 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1217 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,884,552 of utility $156 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1006 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dornoko | 54% | 127 |
| #2 | Apollo | 47% | 546 |
| #3 | Psion_Flair | 44% | 63 |
| #4 | ForgeRezin | 35% | 92 |
| #5 | Ur_Stinkee | 31% | 97 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Apollo | 1709 | 0.16 | 38 min |
| #2 | Dornoko | 374 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #3 | ForgeRezin | 197 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #4 | Ur_Stinkee | 193 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | Milwaukee Cordless Impact Drill | 154 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dornoko | +4.25 | 86 | 49 |
| #2 | Apollo | +3.77 | 43 | 54 |
| #3 | Milwaukee Cordless Impact Drill | +0.13 | 57 | 48 |
| #4 | ForgeRezin | -0.59 | 53 | 53 |
| #5 | Beaf | -3.18 | 9 | 23 |





