








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1383 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 195 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 160 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 105 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 95 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 64 matches | ||
| Wingman | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 18 matches | ||
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




70 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8945 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,674 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8071 | 33% |
| Smokes | 7627 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 3819 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 5157 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,860,909 of utility $98 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1156 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | s9 * zAppleShadow | 63% | 49 |
| #2 | Amadeus | 58% | 74 |
| #3 | Dornoko | 57% | 250 |
| #4 | Beaf | 47% | 546 |
| #5 | ForgeRezin | 45% | 107 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dornoko | 807 | 0.16 | 20 min |
| #2 | Beaf | 533 | 0.05 | 11 min |
| #3 | Ur_Stinkee | 237 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #4 | ForgeRezin | 230 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #5 | s9 * zAppleShadow | 200 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Amadeus | +3.01 | 57 | 44 |
| #2 | Dornoko | +2.97 | 85 | 53 |
| #3 | Apollo | +2.66 | 41 | 55 |
| #4 | s9 * zAppleShadow | +2.34 | 56 | 66 |
| #5 | Milwaukee Cordless Impact Drill | -0.11 | 54 | 50 |





