








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 128 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Premier | 12 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
561 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,639 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 652 | 40% |
| Smokes | 423 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 168 | 10% |
| Molotovs | 396 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $147,589 of utility $154 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 66 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Diet Mr. Pibb | 43% | 7 |
| #8 | BPanda | 40% | 5 |
| #9 | YungBabyYoda | 40% | 10 |
| #10 | Peckers | 20% | 5 |
| #11 | focus | 0% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zen1th | 4 | 0.0095 |
| #2 | YungBabyYoda | 1 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | Diet Mr. Pibb | 1 | 0.0063 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zen1th | 91 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| #2 | BrokeBoy Never Young Again | 34 | 0.37 | 1 min |
| #3 | YungBabyYoda | 28 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #4 | Peckers | 26 | 0.27 | 0 min |
| #5 | Diet Mr. Pibb | 11 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lonely Potat | +2.28 | 83 | 53 |
| #2 | Peckers | +1.77 | 75 | 68 |
| #3 | TzTok-Cortunix | +1.09 | 78 | 61 |
| #4 | Diet Mr. Pibb | +0.60 | 91 | 49 |
| #5 | Zen1th | +0.35 | 72 | 57 |





