








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 10 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
302 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,018 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 266 | 26% |
| Smokes | 303 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 229 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 220 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $68,396 of utility $106 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 7 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 7OXIC | 100% | 2 |
| #2 | rav1e | 100% | 2 |
| #3 | E1nar | 100% | 5 |
| #4 | ¥×Z̷e̷r̷q̷a̷r̷i̷×¥ | 86% | 7 |
| #5 | EddezeNNN | 80% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #13 | RuflU | 54% | 13 |
| #14 | Kúba | 50% | 2 |
| #15 | Pressi | 43% | 7 |
| #16 | nutella.com | 40% | 5 |
| #17 | Zolo | 40% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RuflU | 3 | 0.0122 |
| #2 | Stjáni Guli | 2 | 0.0052 |
| #3 | ¥×Z̷e̷r̷q̷a̷r̷i̷×¥ | 1 | 0.0075 |
| #4 | nutella.com | 1 | 0.0083 |
| #5 | Blick | 1 | 0.0120 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ¥×Z̷e̷r̷q̷a̷r̷i̷×¥ | 45 | 0.34 | 1 min |
| #2 | RuflU | 36 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #3 | Nonni | 32 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #4 | Stjáni Guli | 29 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | EddezeNNN | 29 | 0.30 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | viruz #hashtag | +7.70 | 98 | 77 |
| #2 | Blick | +5.48 | 74 | 64 |
| #3 | yungArk17ekt | +5.08 | 65 | 70 |
| #4 | EddezeNNN | +4.69 | 82 | 67 |
| #5 | Pressi | +3.07 | 81 | 52 |





