








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 5 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
729 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 745 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 110 | 15% |
| Smokes | 160 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 148 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 327 | 44% |
Our logs show you have wasted $119,557 of utility $56 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | alexliuovo | 71% | 21 |
| #2 | Byron_F | 67% | 18 |
| #3 | Sak3 | 65% | 20 |
| #4 | Enemies’ Dad | 63% | 40 |
| #5 | yzbbdxqz | 61% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | JCCZ | 47% | 17 |
| #13 | N1ght1ngale | 44% | 9 |
| #14 | Nose piker | 43% | 7 |
| #15 | _k1ta | 37% | 19 |
| #16 | Reiji | 25% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♡ALT+F4 IRL♡ | 4 | 0.0053 |
| #2 | Trust1nyou | 4 | 0.0065 |
| #3 | Enemies’ Dad | 3 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | _k1ta | 3 | 0.0077 |
| #5 | sharkml | 2 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Trust1nyou | 134 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| #2 | sharkml | 123 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #3 | yzbbdxqz | 120 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #4 | Byron_F | 75 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #5 | _k1ta | 70 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sharkml | +2.94 | 74 | 66 |
| #2 | To55boy Superior | +2.41 | 87 | 24 |
| #3 | yzbbdxqz | +1.97 | 86 | 56 |
| #4 | alexliuovo | +0.71 | 72 | 52 |
| #5 | Sak3 | +0.60 | 66 | 42 |





