








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 140 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
990 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,780 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1244 | 33% |
| Smokes | 1345 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 489 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 702 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $275,013 of utility $103 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 11 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ROCKET MAN | 87% | 15 |
| #2 | alexliuovo | 59% | 32 |
| #3 | To55boy Superior | 57% | 28 |
| #4 | Sak3 | 57% | 23 |
| #5 | N1ght1ngale | 56% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Reiji | 52% | 29 |
| #9 | Enemies’ Dad | 50% | 36 |
| #10 | ♡ALT+F4 IRL♡ | 42% | 24 |
| #11 | martin666 | 40% | 52 |
| #12 | Nose piker | 37% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Enemies’ Dad | 7 | 0.0093 |
| #2 | _k1ta | 4 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | martin666 | 4 | 0.0038 |
| #4 | alexliuovo | 4 | 0.0061 |
| #5 | To55boy Superior | 3 | 0.0049 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | _k1ta | 149 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #2 | martin666 | 110 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #3 | N1ght1ngale | 104 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #4 | alexliuovo | 60 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | ROCKET MAN | 52 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ROCKET MAN | +4.06 | 93 | 56 |
| #2 | To55boy Superior | +2.45 | 83 | 27 |
| #3 | _k1ta | +2.26 | 83 | 55 |
| #4 | alexliuovo | +1.27 | 72 | 47 |
| #5 | Enemies’ Dad | +0.31 | 47 | 11 |





