








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 183 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 162 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




36 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1854 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,040 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 925 | 30% |
| Smokes | 596 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 850 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 669 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $796,635 of utility $153 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Christian Reginales Andersen | 61% | 18 |
| #2 | Koch In U | 55% | 42 |
| #3 | DRED | 47% | 139 |
| #4 | Nickerlas | 44% | 194 |
| #5 | Sanches | 43% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Sanches | 43% | 60 |
| #6 | nichlaskoch9 | 40% | 15 |
| #7 | philler_03 | 40% | 43 |
| #8 | Reginales_V2 | 30% | 27 |
| #9 | Soldier TF2 | 20% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nickerlas | 36 | 0.0087 |
| #2 | DRED | 19 | 0.0066 |
| #3 | Koch In U | 10 | 0.0116 |
| #4 | Sanches | 7 | 0.0056 |
| #5 | philler_03 | 4 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DRED | 356 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #2 | Koch In U | 260 | 0.30 | 6 min |
| #3 | Reginales_V2 | 105 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #4 | Nickerlas | 91 | 0.02 | 2 min |
| #5 | nichlaskoch9 | 73 | 0.25 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Reginales_V2 | +3.16 | 60 | 66 |
| #2 | Soldier TF2 | +2.91 | 70 | 42 |
| #3 | Koch In U | +2.86 | 52 | 64 |
| #4 | Christian Reginales Andersen | +1.88 | 42 | 63 |
| #5 | DRED | +0.74 | 50 | 55 |





