








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 9 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 235 matches | ||
| Premier | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3002 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,935 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3952 | 50% |
| Smokes | 1681 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 328 | 4% |
| Molotovs | 1974 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $559,089 of utility $97 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | _chaechae_1 | 76% | 41 |
| #2 | ඞ | 72% | 18 |
| #3 | sick | 69% | 39 |
| #4 | JET0 | 67% | 60 |
| #5 | 櫻皇駕崩 | 66% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Anklet | 54% | 105 |
| #10 | sR | 54% | 119 |
| #11 | sH | 53% | 45 |
| #12 | PeterJJ | 53% | 51 |
| #13 | 紅燒乳豬 | 52% | 82 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪AwP1zy | 34 | 0.0141 |
| #2 | JET0 | 25 | 0.0225 |
| #3 | lonely | 3 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | 櫻皇駕崩 | 3 | 0.0041 |
| #5 | Anklet | 2 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Anklet | 596 | 0.30 | 13 min |
| #2 | 紅燒乳豬 | 533 | 0.35 | 14 min |
| #3 | ✪AwP1zy | 450 | 0.19 | 14 min |
| #4 | sR | 339 | 0.15 | 10 min |
| #5 | JET0 | 307 | 0.28 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | _chaechae_1 | +4.42 | 90 | 57 |
| #2 | ✪AwP1zy | +3.33 | 87 | 57 |
| #3 | JET0 | +2.93 | 81 | 55 |
| #4 | ඞ | +2.69 | 83 | 46 |
| #5 | sR | +1.20 | 70 | 67 |





