








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 709 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 392 matches | ||
| Premier | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




91 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4986 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,989 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3219 | 32% |
| Smokes | 2601 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2225 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1944 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,982,055 of utility $222 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 238 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PLSWIN | 77% | 26 |
| #2 | _chaechae_1 | 76% | 29 |
| #3 | JET0 | 72% | 72 |
| #4 | 櫻皇駕崩 | 63% | 87 |
| #5 | HimSS- | 62% | 93 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Portia | 59% | 213 |
| #8 | lonely | 57% | 91 |
| #9 | sH | 54% | 95 |
| #10 | Svet | 54% | 28 |
| #11 | -Hinz | 52% | 159 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JET0 | 30 | 0.0216 |
| #2 | Portia | 21 | 0.0049 |
| #3 | -Hinz | 15 | 0.0047 |
| #4 | JERJER | 8 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | 櫻皇駕崩 | 8 | 0.0048 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -Hinz | 854 | 0.27 | 20 min |
| #2 | Portia | 851 | 0.20 | 21 min |
| #3 | JERJER | 640 | 0.27 | 15 min |
| #4 | lonely | 481 | 0.27 | 11 min |
| #5 | 櫻皇駕崩 | 470 | 0.28 | 13 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PLSWIN | +3.61 | 86 | 61 |
| #2 | JET0 | +3.60 | 83 | 56 |
| #3 | _chaechae_1 | +3.32 | 91 | 61 |
| #4 | ✪AwP1zy | +2.68 | 84 | 57 |
| #5 | Portia | +1.00 | 66 | 60 |





