








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 77 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 189 matches | ||
| Premier | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3646 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,243 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7429 | 49% |
| Smokes | 3398 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1675 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 2741 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $637,503 of utility $75 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sick | 60% | 55 |
| #2 | Anklet | 56% | 372 |
| #3 | sR | 55% | 368 |
| #4 | Portia | 55% | 186 |
| #5 | PeterJJ | 53% | 211 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Anklet | 56% | 372 |
| #3 | sR | 55% | 368 |
| #4 | Portia | 55% | 186 |
| #5 | PeterJJ | 53% | 211 |
| #6 | JERJER | 52% | 82 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Anklet | 17 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | Portia | 11 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | sR | 6 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | PeterJJ | 5 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | JERJER | 3 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Anklet | 1738 | 0.24 | 43 min |
| #2 | sR | 1082 | 0.15 | 33 min |
| #3 | PeterJJ | 917 | 0.22 | 23 min |
| #4 | Portia | 783 | 0.21 | 19 min |
| #5 | JERJER | 432 | 0.28 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JERJER | +1.50 | 65 | 51 |
| #2 | sR | +1.40 | 67 | 72 |
| #3 | Portia | +1.08 | 68 | 53 |
| #4 | Anklet | +0.80 | 71 | 68 |
| #5 | 紅燒乳豬 | +0.39 | 68 | 71 |





