








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 77 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 239 matches | ||
| Premier | 93 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4644 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,540 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6652 | 34% |
| Smokes | 5354 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2093 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 5441 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $809,622 of utility $79 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Anklet | 57% | 451 |
| #5 | Portia | 57% | 216 |
| #6 | 紅燒乳豬 | 55% | 368 |
| #7 | PeterJJ | 55% | 258 |
| #8 | JERJER | 54% | 119 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Anklet | 18 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | Portia | 12 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | PeterJJ | 6 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | JERJER | 4 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | 紅燒乳豬 | 3 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 紅燒乳豬 | 2213 | 0.30 | 61 min |
| #2 | Anklet | 2135 | 0.24 | 52 min |
| #3 | PeterJJ | 1174 | 0.23 | 30 min |
| #4 | Portia | 922 | 0.21 | 21 min |
| #5 | JERJER | 626 | 0.28 | 14 min |





