








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 151 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 131 matches | ||
| Premier | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2828 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,991 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3740 | 34% |
| Smokes | 3167 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1839 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 2245 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $901,965 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 33 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sick | 68% | 28 |
| #2 | sR | 55% | 258 |
| #3 | Anklet | 55% | 264 |
| #4 | JERJER | 53% | 51 |
| #5 | 紅燒乳豬 | 53% | 211 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | sR | 55% | 258 |
| #3 | Anklet | 55% | 264 |
| #4 | JERJER | 53% | 51 |
| #5 | 紅燒乳豬 | 53% | 211 |
| #6 | Portia | 52% | 125 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Portia | 10 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | Anklet | 8 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | sR | 5 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | JERJER | 3 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | 紅燒乳豬 | 2 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 紅燒乳豬 | 1187 | 0.28 | 33 min |
| #2 | Anklet | 1184 | 0.22 | 28 min |
| #3 | sR | 748 | 0.14 | 22 min |
| #4 | Portia | 520 | 0.21 | 13 min |
| #5 | JERJER | 300 | 0.30 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JERJER | +1.79 | 67 | 47 |
| #2 | sR | +1.48 | 68 | 71 |
| #3 | Portia | +0.92 | 67 | 50 |
| #4 | Anklet | +0.41 | 70 | 69 |
| #5 | 紅燒乳豬 | +0.13 | 65 | 70 |





