








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 93 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 52 matches | ||
| Premier | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




110 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2018 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,194 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1078 | 49% |
| Smokes | 278 | 13% |
| HE Grenades | 342 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 496 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $369,358 of utility $70 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 98 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dracula | 69% | 26 |
| #2 | Jewbrokit | 63% | 16 |
| #3 | Adept ༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ | 58% | 60 |
| #4 | Brxdly | 49% | 39 |
| #5 | snow | 42% | 159 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dracula | 69% | 26 |
| #2 | Jewbrokit | 63% | 16 |
| #3 | Adept ༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ | 58% | 60 |
| #4 | Brxdly | 49% | 39 |
| #5 | snow | 42% | 159 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | snow | 37 | 0.0118 |
| #2 | Adept ༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ | 3 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | Brxdly | 2 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | Dracula | 2 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | Jewbrokit | 2 | 0.0062 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | snow | 333 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #2 | Adept ༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ | 209 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #3 | Jewbrokit | 51 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #4 | Dracula | 39 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | Brxdly | 3 | 0.00 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Adept ༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ | +6.26 | 89 | 66 |
| #2 | Jewbrokit | +2.62 | 58 | 49 |
| #3 | snow | +2.29 | 31 | 45 |
| #4 | ExoticSoups | -0.85 | 41 | 23 |
| #5 | Dracula | -1.31 | 48 | 34 |





