








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 374 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 30 matches | ||
| Wingman | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Premier | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1657 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,178 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 861 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1071 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 552 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 694 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $562,053 of utility $158 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 68 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dracula | 64% | 11 |
| #2 | Adept ༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ | 46% | 41 |
| #3 | Barbie | 44% | 16 |
| #4 | Brxdly | 43% | 80 |
| #5 | Jewbrokit | 29% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Memester | 5 | 0.0120 |
| #2 | Brxdly | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | Barbie | 2 | 0.0059 |
| #4 | Adept ༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | Jewbrokit | 1 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Adept ༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ | 129 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #2 | Jewbrokit | 60 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #3 | Memester | 45 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #4 | Barbie | 45 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | la patrona | 36 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Adept ༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ | +6.56 | 86 | 71 |
| #2 | Jewbrokit | +1.90 | 36 | 59 |
| #3 | DaltonR__ | +1.24 | 55 | 47 |
| #4 | Memester | +0.77 | 47 | 51 |
| #5 | Dracula | -2.39 | 41 | 41 |





