










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 42 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
127 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 52 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 17 | 33% |
| Smokes | 9 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 9 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 17 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $24,000 of utility $36 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 16 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eclipse友 | 74% | 23 |
| #2 | Binji | 64% | 28 |
| #3 | Brynjulf Bjørn-Reidar | 63% | 32 |
| #4 | Clown | 62% | 21 |
| #5 | Autism | 60% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eclipse友 | 74% | 23 |
| #2 | Binji | 64% | 28 |
| #3 | Brynjulf Bjørn-Reidar | 63% | 32 |
| #4 | Clown | 62% | 21 |
| #5 | Autism | 60% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eclipse友 | 10 | 0.0232 |
| #2 | Binji | 9 | 0.0166 |
| #3 | Brynjulf Bjørn-Reidar | 7 | 0.0115 |
| #4 | Autism | 1 | 0.0097 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Brynjulf Bjørn-Reidar | 128 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #2 | Clown | 127 | 0.31 | 3 min |
| #3 | Binji | 103 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #4 | Eclipse友 | 100 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| #5 | Autism | 18 | 0.17 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eclipse友 | +5.40 | 80 | 57 |
| #2 | Binji | +5.37 | 80 | 56 |
| #3 | Clown | +1.26 | 47 | 64 |
| #4 | Brynjulf Bjørn-Reidar | +1.23 | 40 | 51 |
| #5 | Autism | -5.13 | 20 | 37 |





