








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 61 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 69 matches | ||
| Wingman | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1100 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,232 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1304 | 40% |
| Smokes | 504 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 893 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 531 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $370,491 of utility $116 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 33 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | J3LLY | 47% | 105 |
| #5 | KSHY | 43% | 104 |
| #6 | Crane141 | 38% | 16 |
| #7 | チャド | 31% | 13 |
| #8 | Flamzi | 23% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KSHY | 10 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | GodlySui | 9 | 0.0067 |
| #3 | J3LLY | 5 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | Flamzi | 2 | 0.0078 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KSHY | 223 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #2 | GodlySui | 160 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #3 | J3LLY | 127 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #4 | Crane141 | 33 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | Flamzi | 31 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GodlySui | +3.83 | 70 | 49 |
| #2 | KSHY | +2.03 | 66 | 68 |
| #3 | Crane141 | +1.89 | 83 | 61 |
| #4 | Flamzi | -0.07 | 49 | 42 |
| #5 | J3LLY | -0.97 | 53 | 60 |





