








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 164 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 112 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Premier | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2673 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,108 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2708 | 33% |
| Smokes | 1734 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1424 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 2242 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $591,722 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 70 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Aurora | 43% | 28 |
| #11 | Sepicraze | 42% | 45 |
| #12 | friend | 33% | 30 |
| #13 | stuartlittle553 | 31% | 13 |
| #14 | Cloudy_y | 11% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | D1srvpt | 8 | 0.0053 |
| #2 | friend | 3 | 0.0050 |
| #3 | DangerCat | LFT | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | Sepicraze | 2 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | Fricks | 2 | 0.0048 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sepicraze | 286 | 0.32 | 9 min |
| #2 | D1srvpt | 284 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #3 | DangerCat | LFT | 192 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #4 | Cloudy_y | 79 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #5 | Aurora | 71 | 0.13 | 2 min |





