








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 172 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 118 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
658 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 167 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 22 | 13% |
| Smokes | 32 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 29 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 84 | 50% |
Our logs show you have wasted $144,067 of utility $28 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 15 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SwedenPig | 50% | 14 |
| #2 | Snay | 44% | 55 |
| #3 | dragon $layer | 41% | 75 |
| #4 | Bloodqest | 35% | 49 |
| #5 | AE_Migwel | 34% | 192 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Quickfaith | 32% | 37 |
| #10 | Vaaben ლ(-_-ლ) | 32% | 138 |
| #11 | PsychoticMutt (Henny) | 29% | 41 |
| #12 | D0ggy94 | 26% | 35 |
| #13 | Lecty Eisenach | 21% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AE_Migwel | 11 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | KlaueTie | 5 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | Vaaben ლ(-_-ლ) | 5 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | Bloodqest | 3 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | dragon $layer | 2 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vaaben ლ(-_-ლ) | 237 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #2 | AE_Migwel | 204 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| #3 | KlaueTie | 150 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #4 | Snay | 144 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #5 | dragon $layer | 99 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AE_Migwel | +4.23 | 71 | 53 |
| #2 | Snay | +3.37 | 63 | 59 |
| #3 | TIGER_DK | +3.13 | 53 | 51 |
| #4 | SwedenPig | +2.84 | 35 | 44 |
| #5 | dragon $layer | +1.44 | 23 | 55 |





