








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 495 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 145 matches | ||
| Premier | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




62 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4415 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,951 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4453 | 32% |
| Smokes | 3692 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1934 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 3872 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,308,971 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 344 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zazu | 60% | 60 |
| #2 | Raindyrps | 56% | 25 |
| #3 | Jackal | 55% | 49 |
| #4 | GP ❤︎ Crashout Queen | 55% | 33 |
| #5 | kaleq | 54% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | HatTapper | 47% | 77 |
| #9 | Armeretta | 45% | 58 |
| #10 | Hard ahh lion | 45% | 38 |
| #11 | antli0n | 42% | 33 |
| #12 | Cable_ | 41% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BocchiTheAwp | 81 | 0.0109 |
| #2 | Zazu | 16 | 0.0132 |
| #3 | Raindyrps | 7 | 0.0138 |
| #4 | HatTapper | 6 | 0.0037 |
| #5 | Armeretta | 4 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BocchiTheAwp | 770 | 0.10 | 14 min |
| #2 | Armeretta | 263 | 0.22 | 7 min |
| #3 | Jackal | 212 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #4 | kaleq | 163 | 0.32 | 4 min |
| #5 | antli0n | 162 | 0.23 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zazu | +4.45 | 74 | 64 |
| #2 | kaleq | +2.27 | 75 | 60 |
| #3 | TnS | +1.79 | 77 | 38 |
| #4 | antli0n | +1.77 | 81 | 55 |
| #5 | GP ❤︎ Crashout Queen | +1.42 | 76 | 57 |





