








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 335 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 108 matches | ||
| Wingman | 89 matches | ||
| Faceit | 18 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1978 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,544 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2660 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2492 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1386 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 2006 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $610,829 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 201 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...


| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lightning McSkit | 47% | 88 |
| #2 | limpan | 46% | 28 |
| #3 | Alva | 46% | 193 |
| #4 | ![]() Gardin Myran | 45% | 101 |
| #5 | claw | 44% | 111 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | claw | 18 | 0.0077 |
| #2 | ![]() Gardin Myran | 15 | 0.0077 |
| #3 | Alva | 12 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | ![]() Zaizter | 5 | 0.0052 |
| #5 | limpan | 4 | 0.0065 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alva | 487 | 0.13 | 13 min |
| #2 | claw | 216 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #3 | Viggedutten | 134 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #4 | ![]() Gardin Myran | 128 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | ![]() Zaizter | 99 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Owtto | +3.57 | 79 | 64 |
| #2 | claw | +1.68 | 73 | 61 |
| #3 | ![]() Zaizter | +1.26 | 66 | 34 |
| #4 | ![]() Gardin Myran | +0.07 | 55 | 41 |
| #5 | limpan | -1.12 | 62 | 62 |





