








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 6 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 56 matches | ||
| Wingman | 47 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
574 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,455 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 84 | 6% |
| Smokes | 277 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 403 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 691 | 47% |
Our logs show you have wasted $48,365 of utility $21 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Owtto | 47% | 88 |
| #2 | Alva | 41% | 75 |
| #3 | claw | 41% | 97 |
| #4 | Gardin Myran | 36% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Owtto | 47% | 88 |
| #2 | Alva | 41% | 75 |
| #3 | claw | 41% | 97 |
| #4 | Gardin Myran | 36% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | claw | 15 | 0.0081 |
| #2 | Owtto | 15 | 0.0086 |
| #3 | Gardin Myran | 13 | 0.0114 |
| #4 | Alva | 8 | 0.0051 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Owtto | 298 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #2 | Alva | 228 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #3 | claw | 132 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #4 | Gardin Myran | 80 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Owtto | +3.20 | 78 | 66 |
| #2 | claw | +2.59 | 71 | 57 |
| #3 | Gardin Myran | -0.45 | 51 | 39 |
| #4 | Alva | -2.87 | 48 | 60 |
| #5 | Lightning McSkit | -2.91 | 44 | 19 |





