










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 43 matches | ||
| Wingman | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1341 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,796 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1230 | 32% |
| Smokes | 1227 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 715 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 624 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $277,251 of utility $100 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 324 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zaizter | 49% | 68 |
| #2 | ฿JØ̈Ɽ₦฿ɆⱤ₲ツ | 48% | 23 |
| #3 | limpan | 45% | 53 |
| #4 | Owtto | 42% | 57 |
| #5 | Alva | 41% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Owtto | 9 | 0.0076 |
| #2 | limpan | 9 | 0.0079 |
| #3 | Zaizter | 7 | 0.0050 |
| #4 | claw | 1 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Owtto | 182 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #2 | Zaizter | 156 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #3 | Alva | 145 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #4 | limpan | 121 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | claw | 44 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Owtto | +3.55 | 81 | 68 |
| #2 | Zaizter | +3.44 | 68 | 40 |
| #3 | claw | +1.82 | 79 | 72 |
| #4 | Viggedutten | +0.26 | 67 | 55 |
| #5 | ฿JØ̈Ɽ₦฿ɆⱤ₲ツ | -0.46 | 80 | 24 |





