










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 62 matches | ||
| Wingman | 39 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
813 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,272 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 459 | 20% |
| Smokes | 528 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 675 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 610 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $138,232 of utility $62 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zaizter | 67% | 9 |
| #2 | Owtto | 45% | 101 |
| #3 | claw | 42% | 73 |
| #4 | Alva | 39% | 92 |
| #5 | Lightning McSkit | 36% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zaizter | 67% | 9 |
| #2 | Owtto | 45% | 101 |
| #3 | claw | 42% | 73 |
| #4 | Alva | 39% | 92 |
| #5 | Lightning McSkit | 36% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Owtto | 19 | 0.0098 |
| #2 | claw | 13 | 0.0087 |
| #3 | Alva | 6 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | Lightning McSkit | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | Zaizter | 1 | 0.0052 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Owtto | 337 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #2 | Alva | 238 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #3 | claw | 130 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #4 | Zaizter | 17 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| #5 | Lightning McSkit | 5 | 0.00 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Owtto | +2.05 | 76 | 63 |
| #2 | claw | +1.53 | 72 | 59 |
| #3 | Zaizter | +1.21 | 60 | 37 |
| #4 | Gardin Myran | -0.05 | 55 | 39 |
| #5 | Alva | -2.92 | 45 | 59 |





