








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1133 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 170 matches | ||
| Faceit | 36 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3900 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,734 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3194 | 27% |
| Smokes | 3165 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2855 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2520 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,473,976 of utility $195 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 582 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wolppi | 70% | 77 |
| #2 | jonsteri | 66% | 118 |
| #3 | nYko | 56% | 118 |
| #4 | Väiski Vemmelsääri | 54% | 46 |
| #5 | ballgobler | 48% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | jonsteri | 66% | 118 |
| #3 | nYko | 56% | 118 |
| #4 | Väiski Vemmelsääri | 54% | 46 |
| #5 | ballgobler | 48% | 21 |
| #6 | ✰ teaqw | 32% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wolppi | 9 | 0.0057 |
| #2 | nYko | 7 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | Väiski Vemmelsääri | 4 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | ballgobler | 3 | 0.0070 |
| #5 | jonsteri | 2 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jonsteri | 374 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #2 | Väiski Vemmelsääri | 185 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #3 | wolppi | 147 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #4 | nYko | 136 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #5 | ballgobler | 80 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wolppi | +3.09 | 77 | 52 |
| #2 | Väiski Vemmelsääri | +1.30 | 68 | 70 |
| #3 | rane | +1.27 | 84 | 60 |
| #4 | jonsteri | +1.13 | 85 | 65 |
| #5 | ballgobler | +0.64 | 58 | 61 |





