








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1050 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 334 matches | ||
| Faceit | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 52 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5246 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,336 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5028 | 25% |
| Smokes | 6063 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 4248 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 4997 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,698,726 of utility $159 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 178 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noname | 59% | 29 |
| #2 | nx | 57% | 81 |
| #3 | rane | 54% | 46 |
| #4 | Tumppi | 54% | 28 |
| #5 | ballgobler | 53% | 328 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | rane | 54% | 46 |
| #4 | Tumppi | 54% | 28 |
| #5 | ballgobler | 53% | 328 |
| #6 | Bonsu | 50% | 172 |
| #7 | Maakkis2000 | 49% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ballgobler | 29 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | Bonsu | 18 | 0.0052 |
| #3 | Maakkis2000 | 4 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | rane | 3 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | Tumppi | 3 | 0.0053 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ballgobler | 1254 | 0.18 | 26 min |
| #2 | Bonsu | 683 | 0.20 | 18 min |
| #3 | Maakkis2000 | 229 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #4 | nx | 205 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #5 | rane | 151 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Väiski Vemmelsääri | +3.18 | 72 | 71 |
| #2 | nx | +1.17 | 66 | 45 |
| #3 | ballgobler | +0.29 | 53 | 58 |
| #4 | rane | -0.15 | 77 | 60 |
| #5 | Maakkis2000 | -1.07 | 52 | 62 |





