








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 629 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 307 matches | ||
| Faceit | 82 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 51 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




58 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5405 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,470 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6741 | 31% |
| Smokes | 5367 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 4980 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 4382 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,657,788 of utility $137 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1375 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Väiski Vemmelsääri | 53% | 328 |
| #2 | Bonsu | 53% | 138 |
| #3 | Pvt Parts | 52% | 44 |
| #4 | Maakkis2000 | 51% | 49 |
| #5 | nx | 50% | 129 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Bonsu | 53% | 138 |
| #3 | Pvt Parts | 52% | 44 |
| #4 | Maakkis2000 | 51% | 49 |
| #5 | nx | 50% | 129 |
| #6 | Tumppi | 46% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Väiski Vemmelsääri | 16 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | Bonsu | 15 | 0.0051 |
| #3 | nx | 8 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | Tumppi | 6 | 0.0041 |
| #5 | Pvt Parts | 3 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Väiski Vemmelsääri | 1070 | 0.16 | 29 min |
| #2 | Bonsu | 612 | 0.21 | 17 min |
| #3 | nx | 309 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #4 | Tumppi | 148 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | Maakkis2000 | 144 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Väiski Vemmelsääri | +3.10 | 72 | 71 |
| #2 | nx | +1.65 | 69 | 39 |
| #3 | ballgobler | +0.59 | 54 | 57 |
| #4 | Maakkis2000 | -1.65 | 45 | 64 |
| #5 | Tumppi | -1.81 | 40 | 46 |





