








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 24 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




67 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
968 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,280 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 598 | 26% |
| Smokes | 757 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 455 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 470 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $206,903 of utility $110 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 165 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Karvainen Igor | 80% | 5 |
| #2 | HappyFeet | 73% | 15 |
| #3 | Pelihirmu | 59% | 49 |
| #4 | Gunár💜 | 55% | 29 |
| #5 | Kallevi "Kash" Heiskanen | 55% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gunár💜 | 17 | 0.0298 |
| #2 | Kallevi "Kash" Heiskanen | 15 | 0.0154 |
| #3 | Pelihirmu | 14 | 0.0150 |
| #4 | HappyFeet | 10 | 0.0370 |
| #5 | tomas selbi sigma | 2 | 0.0090 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kallevi "Kash" Heiskanen | 187 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #2 | Pelihirmu | 129 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #3 | Gunár💜 | 53 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | tomas selbi sigma | 39 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #5 | HappyFeet | 26 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Karvainen Igor | +3.20 | 65 | 69 |
| #2 | tomas selbi sigma | +2.96 | 74 | 66 |
| #3 | MvS | +2.06 | 78 | 45 |
| #4 | HappyFeet | +1.91 | 63 | 43 |
| #5 | Kallevi "Kash" Heiskanen | -0.11 | 48 | 71 |





