








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 151 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 28 matches | ||
| Wingman | 25 matches | ||
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1187 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,256 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 269 | 21% |
| Smokes | 170 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 401 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 416 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $307,687 of utility $135 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 42 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ra5zle | 76% | 21 |
| #2 | Udder Spinner | 73% | 11 |
| #3 | Y 3 3 T | 73% | 22 |
| #4 | single pregnant rat | 67% | 9 |
| #5 | ✪ F3DerAL | 63% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | oKoL | 8 | 0.0120 |
| #2 | Ra5zle | 6 | 0.0157 |
| #3 | Y 3 3 T | 2 | 0.0043 |
| #4 | Udder Spinner | 1 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | oKoL | 40 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #2 | Udder Spinner | 29 | 0.12 | 0 min |
| #3 | ✪ F3DerAL | 28 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #4 | Ra5zle | 25 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #5 | Y 3 3 T | 12 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Raikiri | +3.58 | 79 | 39 |
| #2 | oKoL | +2.44 | 89 | 35 |
| #3 | Udder Spinner | +1.10 | 82 | 41 |
| #4 | gwill | +0.97 | 80 | 37 |
| #5 | single pregnant rat | -0.56 | 49 | 18 |





