








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 56 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
704 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,888 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 444 | 24% |
| Smokes | 546 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 463 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 435 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $164,805 of utility $128 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mömmö | 67% | 9 |
| #2 | Latepate | 67% | 15 |
| #3 | JoonaNd | 50% | 6 |
| #4 | jutosu17 | 50% | 8 |
| #5 | Jesmo | 47% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | ilqqq | 43% | 14 |
| #8 | jahnu | 42% | 31 |
| #9 | em0dem0n | 33% | 6 |
| #10 | siivekäs | 25% | 4 |
| #11 | HYP3 | 25% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ilqqq | 2 | 0.0069 |
| #2 | mömmö | 2 | 0.0105 |
| #3 | late | 1 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | Jesmo | 1 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | jutosu17 | 1 | 0.0054 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jahnu | 190 | 0.28 | 5 min |
| #2 | late | 55 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #3 | JoonaNd | 29 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #4 | Latepate | 24 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| #5 | ilqqq | 24 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Latepate | +2.12 | 89 | 42 |
| #2 | siivekäs | +2.03 | 75 | 60 |
| #3 | mömmö | +1.75 | 79 | 54 |
| #4 | JoonaNd | +1.04 | 81 | 75 |
| #5 | kalzu | +0.07 | 68 | 53 |





