








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1125 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 127 matches | ||
| Faceit | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2272 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,827 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1183 | 42% |
| Smokes | 581 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 629 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 434 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $763,439 of utility $176 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 268 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kalzu | 67% | 15 |
| #2 | HYP3 | 62% | 13 |
| #3 | JoonaNd | 58% | 24 |
| #4 | jahnu | 56% | 27 |
| #5 | jutosu17 | 54% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | yamaha ei pamaha | 52% | 151 |
| #7 | ᠌Zacceus | 50% | 18 |
| #8 | mömmö | 45% | 11 |
| #9 | late | 39% | 33 |
| #10 | Jesmo | 33% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yamaha ei pamaha | 9 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | jahnu | 7 | 0.0124 |
| #3 | jutosu17 | 5 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | JoonaNd | 2 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | mömmö | 2 | 0.0094 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yamaha ei pamaha | 339 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #2 | jahnu | 177 | 0.31 | 4 min |
| #3 | JoonaNd | 92 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #4 | late | 69 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | jutosu17 | 59 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Latepate | +4.05 | 90 | 45 |
| #2 | JoonaNd | +2.41 | 76 | 70 |
| #3 | HYP3 | +1.72 | 82 | 56 |
| #4 | kalzu | +1.64 | 69 | 60 |
| #5 | mömmö | +0.87 | 74 | 35 |





