








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 444 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 255 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 129 matches | ||
| Faceit | 95 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 72 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




96 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10475 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 32,174 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9617 | 30% |
| Smokes | 6692 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 9423 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 6442 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,919,962 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2940 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dweb | 61% | 54 |
| #2 | dragoon | 58% | 50 |
| #3 | JeffreyJ | 57% | 110 |
| #4 | D R U M M I E | 56% | 45 |
| #5 | 白 | 52% | 118 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | 白 | 52% | 118 |
| #6 | Captain Tuna | 49% | 47 |
| #7 | The Beef | 48% | 252 |
| #8 | thelastpilot | 46% | 48 |
| #9 | OJs Wife | 45% | 253 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Beef | 33 | 0.0065 |
| #2 | OJs Wife | 14 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | 白 | 10 | 0.0042 |
| #4 | JeffreyJ | 7 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | thelastpilot | 5 | 0.0054 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Beef | 604 | 0.12 | 15 min |
| #2 | OJs Wife | 514 | 0.10 | 12 min |
| #3 | 白 | 437 | 0.18 | 11 min |
| #4 | JeffreyJ | 353 | 0.15 | 10 min |
| #5 | D R U M M I E | 171 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Every Silvers Worst Nightmare | +3.95 | 80 | 66 |
| #2 | dragoon | +2.70 | 79 | 56 |
| #3 | JeffreyJ | +2.12 | 73 | 62 |
| #4 | 白 | +0.80 | 72 | 72 |
| #5 | D R U M M I E | +0.50 | 79 | 72 |





