








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 12 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 27 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1687 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,596 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 757 | 29% |
| Smokes | 675 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 604 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 560 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $539,111 of utility $214 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 112 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | StickMyLogIn | 70% | 10 |
| #2 | JeffreyJ | 59% | 66 |
| #3 | The Beef | 59% | 17 |
| #4 | Every Silvers Worst Nightmare | 58% | 50 |
| #5 | Cinicus | 57% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Every Silvers Worst Nightmare | 13 | 0.0124 |
| #2 | JeffreyJ | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | Captain Tuna | 3 | 0.0048 |
| #4 | The Beef | 3 | 0.0087 |
| #5 | Dweb | 2 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JeffreyJ | 269 | 0.19 | 9 min |
| #2 | Every Silvers Worst Nightmare | 207 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| #3 | Dweb | 106 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #4 | Captain Tuna | 82 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #5 | The Beef | 39 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dragoon | +3.77 | 82 | 56 |
| #2 | Every Silvers Worst Nightmare | +3.00 | 81 | 66 |
| #3 | JeffreyJ | +2.28 | 75 | 63 |
| #4 | Captain Tuna | -0.89 | 59 | 61 |
| #5 | The Beef | -1.78 | 37 | 53 |





