








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 385 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 554 matches | ||
| Faceit | 85 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 83 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 31 matches | ||
| Wingman | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




76 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6310 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,407 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6674 | 29% |
| Smokes | 5231 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 5640 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 5862 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,424,268 of utility $161 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1496 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 白 | 46% | 112 |
| #2 | Every Silvers Worst Nightmare | 45% | 253 |
| #3 | The Beef | 45% | 365 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 白 | 46% | 112 |
| #2 | Every Silvers Worst Nightmare | 45% | 253 |
| #3 | The Beef | 45% | 365 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Every Silvers Worst Nightmare | 51 | 0.0101 |
| #2 | The Beef | 44 | 0.0060 |
| #3 | 白 | 8 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Every Silvers Worst Nightmare | 968 | 0.19 | 25 min |
| #2 | The Beef | 843 | 0.12 | 21 min |
| #3 | 白 | 409 | 0.18 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Every Silvers Worst Nightmare | +6.89 | 84 | 64 |
| #2 | 白 | +2.18 | 74 | 70 |
| #3 | The Beef | -0.09 | 53 | 54 |
| #4 | OJs Wife | -1.80 | 22 | 44 |





