










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 82 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 77 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1830 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,900 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1675 | 19% |
| Smokes | 2035 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2672 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 2518 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $642,900 of utility $113 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 55 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | RiceWater | 43% | 120 |
| #7 | DrMrTayco | 43% | 120 |
| #8 | tits and corporation | 41% | 44 |
| #9 | LudikrisPhish | 39% | 31 |
| #10 | Glizzard Wizard | 33% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JeffreyJ | 19 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | Every Silvers Worst Nightmare | 10 | 0.0086 |
| #3 | RiceWater | 8 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | Captain Tuna | 5 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | DrMrTayco | 4 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JeffreyJ | 804 | 0.15 | 24 min |
| #2 | Captain Tuna | 545 | 0.15 | 16 min |
| #3 | DrMrTayco | 395 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| #4 | Every Silvers Worst Nightmare | 222 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #5 | dragoon | 123 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JeffreyJ | +4.34 | 75 | 61 |
| #2 | Every Silvers Worst Nightmare | +3.11 | 81 | 68 |
| #3 | dragoon | +2.82 | 79 | 58 |
| #4 | Captain Tuna | +0.53 | 67 | 65 |
| #5 | Dweb | -0.62 | 45 | 66 |





