








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1792 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 554 matches | ||
| Faceit | 244 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 210 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 24 matches | ||
| Wingman | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




155 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
13265 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 40,567 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 12186 | 30% |
| Smokes | 9866 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 9982 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 8533 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,001,828 of utility $78 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2051 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | TWITCH Nebatron | 49% | 214 |
| #6 | AZMA | 47% | 177 |
| #7 | Alexmln | 46% | 274 |
| #8 | Patrick Bateman | 40% | 67 |
| #9 | Madzii | 39% | 115 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AZMA | 73 | 0.0211 |
| #2 | TWITCH Nebatron | 72 | 0.0168 |
| #3 | Untitled | 55 | 0.0070 |
| #4 | RoxySupremacy | 52 | 0.0060 |
| #5 | Alexmln | 37 | 0.0063 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Untitled | 1255 | 0.16 | 25 min |
| #2 | RoxySupremacy | 582 | 0.07 | 12 min |
| #3 | Alexmln | 350 | 0.06 | 9 min |
| #4 | Remy the Rat | 267 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #5 | AZMA | 232 | 0.07 | 3 min |





