








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 75 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 56 matches | ||
| Premier | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2277 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,722 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3492 | 40% |
| Smokes | 1990 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1537 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 1703 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $322,986 of utility $70 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 141 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | babywiggles | 69% | 13 |
| #2 | Dethyus | 69% | 26 |
| #3 | pupper | 63% | 27 |
| #4 | drkrai | 60% | 15 |
| #5 | hku | 59% | 66 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | neenick | 54% | 114 |
| #10 | .q | 50% | 105 |
| #11 | pat | 48% | 52 |
| #12 | Minismog | 46% | 63 |
| #13 | Lil Schizophrenic | 42% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RdPnd | 19 | 0.0096 |
| #2 | .q | 12 | 0.0056 |
| #3 | hku | 4 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | nissan altimommy | 4 | 0.0039 |
| #5 | neenick | 3 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | neenick | 477 | 0.20 | 10 min |
| #2 | RdPnd | 372 | 0.19 | 9 min |
| #3 | .q | 318 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #4 | Minismog | 218 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #5 | hku | 177 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ビ ケ🎤🐀 | +1.84 | 80 | 66 |
| #2 | RdPnd | +1.67 | 69 | 73 |
| #3 | Dethyus | +1.19 | 84 | 64 |
| #4 | pupper | +1.07 | 77 | 66 |
| #5 | hku | +0.87 | 84 | 56 |





