








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 542 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 140 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 113 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
785 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,524 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1410 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1192 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1929 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 993 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,642,168 of utility $255 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 158 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Se on söne perkele | 43% | 107 |
| #7 | nipsu | 39% | 80 |
| #8 | Maanmittari | 30% | 79 |
| #9 | Ländi | 29% | 34 |
| #10 | Sähläman | 16% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | se on vaan kake | 18 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | Garry | 13 | 0.0153 |
| #3 | IsoPahaKala | 9 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | S3kU-L!Ä | 7 | 0.0196 |
| #5 | Se on söne perkele | 5 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | se on vaan kake | 809 | 0.14 | 18 min |
| #2 | nipsu | 359 | 0.23 | 8 min |
| #3 | Maanmittari | 345 | 0.23 | 9 min |
| #4 | IsoPahaKala | 234 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | Se on söne perkele | 213 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sähläman | +4.77 | 90 | 69 |
| #2 | se on vaan kake | +4.69 | 62 | 47 |
| #3 | Garry | +4.02 | 44 | 38 |
| #4 | nipsu | +3.22 | 76 | 58 |
| #5 | Ländi | +2.54 | 59 | 69 |





