








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 909 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 186 matches | ||
| Wingman | 70 matches | ||
| Premier | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4007 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,198 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4828 | 32% |
| Smokes | 4125 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3616 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2629 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $639,002 of utility $88 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1289 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ooosaa | 60% | 30 |
| #2 | Steep | 57% | 23 |
| #3 | Frog | 54% | 113 |
| #4 | tиuɔ | 51% | 41 |
| #5 | Lee Moikeyy | 49% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | tиuɔ | 51% | 41 |
| #5 | Lee Moikeyy | 49% | 43 |
| #6 | Abatt0ir | 45% | 53 |
| #7 | cуρh☈ ツ | 45% | 40 |
| #8 | BabzUmU | 37% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Abatt0ir | 4 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | Frog | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | Ooosaa | 2 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | tиuɔ | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | Steep | 1 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lee Moikeyy | 335 | 0.35 | 9 min |
| #2 | tиuɔ | 175 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #3 | cуρh☈ ツ | 141 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #4 | Steep | 140 | 0.28 | 4 min |
| #5 | Abatt0ir | 122 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cegu- | +2.52 | 71 | 67 |
| #2 | Steep | +0.66 | 62 | 67 |
| #3 | Ooosaa | +0.05 | 70 | 65 |
| #4 | tиuɔ | +0.05 | 74 | 59 |
| #5 | Lee Moikeyy | -0.13 | 50 | 82 |





