








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 404 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 350 matches | ||
| Faceit | 279 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 102 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4777 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 32,161 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6767 | 21% |
| Smokes | 9402 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 8584 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 7408 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,668,260 of utility $163 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 657 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ooosaa | 54% | 70 |
| #2 | Noodle | 49% | 69 |
| #3 | Steep | 49% | 96 |
| #4 | cуρh☈ ツ | 48% | 223 |
| #5 | Frog | 47% | 427 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Pandar the Destroyer | 45% | 133 |
| #9 | Lee Moikeyy | 44% | 131 |
| #10 | BabzUmU | 44% | 138 |
| #11 | 9o | 42% | 67 |
| #12 | SHAFT DOCTOR | 40% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Frog | 7 | 0.0008 |
| #2 | SHAFT DOCTOR | 7 | 0.0050 |
| #3 | cуρh☈ ツ | 6 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | Pandar the Destroyer | 5 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | Noodle | 4 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lee Moikeyy | 1055 | 0.36 | 30 min |
| #2 | cуρh☈ ツ | 878 | 0.18 | 22 min |
| #3 | BabzUmU | 620 | 0.21 | 17 min |
| #4 | Pandar the Destroyer | 469 | 0.16 | 11 min |
| #5 | Steep | 386 | 0.18 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cegu- | +4.33 | 68 | 71 |
| #2 | Phunk | +2.42 | 56 | 66 |
| #3 | Ooosaa | +2.25 | 76 | 66 |
| #4 | Steep | +1.73 | 72 | 63 |
| #5 | SHAFT DOCTOR | +1.50 | 71 | 65 |





