








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 482 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 266 matches | ||
| Faceit | 205 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4497 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 28,787 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8651 | 30% |
| Smokes | 7977 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 6967 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 5192 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,126,253 of utility $141 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 529 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 9o | 60% | 50 |
| #2 | Gelvish imp lord of darkness | 60% | 90 |
| #3 | yalenzz | 56% | 63 |
| #4 | Free Volvo Money | 53% | 43 |
| #5 | Phunk | 53% | 66 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | getDERANKED | 46% | 37 |
| #12 | cegu- | 45% | 40 |
| #13 | Noodle | 44% | 173 |
| #14 | disfuntion | 41% | 120 |
| #15 | BabzUmU | 41% | 81 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gelvish imp lord of darkness | 13 | 0.0066 |
| #2 | Frog | 10 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | Pandar the Destroyer | 8 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | Abatt0ir | 7 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | Noodle | 7 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lee Moikeyy | 914 | 0.36 | 27 min |
| #2 | Noodle | 869 | 0.24 | 23 min |
| #3 | Pandar the Destroyer | 564 | 0.15 | 13 min |
| #4 | Abatt0ir | 501 | 0.10 | 12 min |
| #5 | BabzUmU | 349 | 0.19 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cegu- | +3.84 | 70 | 70 |
| #2 | Free Volvo Money | +2.39 | 59 | 68 |
| #3 | Phunk | +2.34 | 61 | 69 |
| #4 | yalenzz | +2.19 | 74 | 78 |
| #5 | Steep | +1.94 | 68 | 65 |





