








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1317 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 516 matches | ||
| Premier | 505 matches | ||
| Wingman | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 163 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




42 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10437 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 32,731 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3436 | 10% |
| Smokes | 10678 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 12719 | 39% |
| Molotovs | 5898 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $5,782,246 of utility $205 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 158 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ooosaa | 58% | 173 |
| #2 | benpai | 58% | 85 |
| #3 | cegu- | 54% | 113 |
| #4 | ThatPattyGuy | 52% | 140 |
| #5 | Pandar the Destroyer | 52% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Lee Moikeyy | 50% | 155 |
| #9 | BabzUmU | 48% | 232 |
| #10 | Abatt0ir | 47% | 427 |
| #11 | 9o | 47% | 144 |
| #12 | SHAFT DOCTOR | 38% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ThatPattyGuy | 14 | 0.0054 |
| #2 | Steep | 13 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | benpai | 12 | 0.0070 |
| #4 | Abatt0ir | 8 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | cуρh☈ ツ | 6 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lee Moikeyy | 1277 | 0.37 | 36 min |
| #2 | Steep | 1250 | 0.21 | 34 min |
| #3 | cуρh☈ ツ | 1198 | 0.18 | 31 min |
| #4 | BabzUmU | 1008 | 0.20 | 27 min |
| #5 | Abatt0ir | 950 | 0.10 | 22 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cegu- | +3.92 | 71 | 71 |
| #2 | Ooosaa | +2.06 | 74 | 67 |
| #3 | benpai | +1.56 | 83 | 51 |
| #4 | Steep | +1.36 | 71 | 66 |
| #5 | SHAFT DOCTOR | +0.91 | 69 | 64 |





