








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 555 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 178 matches | ||
| Faceit | 106 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3454 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,101 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8968 | 43% |
| Smokes | 4755 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 3785 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 3593 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $994,359 of utility $121 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 613 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BabzUmU | 53% | 58 |
| #2 | synpec | 53% | 19 |
| #3 | Ooosaa | 50% | 26 |
| #4 | Frog | 50% | 155 |
| #5 | cegu- | 49% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Frog | 50% | 155 |
| #5 | cegu- | 49% | 43 |
| #6 | cуρh☈ ツ | 47% | 114 |
| #7 | Abatt0ir | 44% | 131 |
| #8 | Pandar the Destroyer | 32% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Frog | 6 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | Abatt0ir | 6 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | cуρh☈ ツ | 5 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | cegu- | 3 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | Pandar the Destroyer | 2 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cуρh☈ ツ | 418 | 0.17 | 11 min |
| #2 | Abatt0ir | 285 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #3 | BabzUmU | 285 | 0.21 | 8 min |
| #4 | cegu- | 176 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #5 | Frog | 111 | 0.03 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cegu- | +4.42 | 68 | 71 |
| #2 | Pandar the Destroyer | +2.04 | 51 | 57 |
| #3 | BabzUmU | +1.94 | 69 | 71 |
| #4 | Ooosaa | +1.91 | 73 | 68 |
| #5 | Lee Moikeyy | +0.69 | 56 | 80 |





