








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 36 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
793 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,117 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1806 | 44% |
| Smokes | 767 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 1085 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 459 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $89,232 of utility $35 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 23 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Occupant | 87% | 15 |
| #2 | BigDickLarry | 71% | 7 |
| #3 | Khamûl The Easterling | 62% | 13 |
| #4 | peanut | 62% | 26 |
| #5 | nerf electro giant | 61% | 120 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nerf electro giant | 11 | 0.0048 |
| #2 | I Hate Summer | 10 | 0.0214 |
| #3 | CJ_2K | 6 | 0.0047 |
| #4 | BigDickLarry | 3 | 0.0219 |
| #5 | peanut | 2 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nerf electro giant | 288 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #2 | CJ_2K | 199 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #3 | peanut | 66 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #4 | Occupant | 52 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #5 | Khamûl The Easterling | 50 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nerf electro giant | +6.84 | 79 | 64 |
| #2 | Occupant | +2.89 | 67 | 68 |
| #3 | BigDickLarry | +2.49 | 78 | 74 |
| #4 | Khamûl The Easterling | +1.44 | 77 | 65 |
| #5 | CJ_2K | +1.14 | 65 | 63 |





