








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 34 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 476 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5390 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,872 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7042 | 34% |
| Smokes | 4617 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 5763 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 3450 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,372,451 of utility $128 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 272 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Voodoo Clam | 58% | 52 |
| #2 | helen keller | 56% | 72 |
| #3 | Nocreativity420 | 55% | 110 |
| #4 | purGedM4 | 52% | 50 |
| #5 | ScaR-x-FacE | 52% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | Mexenhenced | 46% | 37 |
| #13 | VACation | 42% | 66 |
| #14 | Chewtoy | 40% | 50 |
| #15 | Muffin | 40% | 48 |
| #16 | Dito | 34% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | `Light <3 | 16 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | Whaty | 14 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | VACation | 4 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | jm.- | 3 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | Muffin | 3 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | `Light <3 | 805 | 0.13 | 21 min |
| #2 | Whaty | 417 | 0.05 | 9 min |
| #3 | Chewtoy | 279 | 0.26 | 6 min |
| #4 | VACation | 159 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #5 | ScaR-x-FacE | 148 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | purGedM4 | +3.55 | 90 | 67 |
| #2 | ScaR-x-FacE | +2.39 | 59 | 71 |
| #3 | VACation | +1.67 | 66 | 70 |
| #4 | jm.- | +1.57 | 70 | 59 |
| #5 | LetsRollOutToMomsHouse | +0.84 | 71 | 52 |





