








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1556 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 2015 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 50 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
17802 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 51,973 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11271 | 22% |
| Smokes | 11982 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 12937 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 15783 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $8,027,247 of utility $173 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 415 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | YoScratched | 47% | 520 |
| #7 | `Light <3 | 47% | 305 |
| #8 | lil b | 45% | 126 |
| #9 | Voodoo Clam | 45% | 146 |
| #10 | TrippyDrip | 44% | 335 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | `Light <3 | 19 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | Whaty | 16 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | Firewurk | 13 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | YoScratched | 10 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | TrippyDrip | 10 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | YoScratched | +2.04 | 76 | 52 |
| #2 | dolli | +1.49 | 73 | 70 |
| #3 | Mexenhenced | +1.11 | 62 | 59 |
| #4 | `Light <3 | +0.95 | 65 | 72 |
| #5 | Firewurk | +0.91 | 39 | 81 |





