








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1651 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 832 matches | ||
| Faceit | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




49 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8637 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 43,041 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11222 | 26% |
| Smokes | 11548 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 10275 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 9996 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,826,655 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3826 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #16 | Nocreativity420 | 47% | 305 |
| #17 | Dito | 41% | 61 |
| #18 | Voodoo Clam | 40% | 161 |
| #19 | Cadenbear | 39% | 49 |
| #20 | Firewurk | 32% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Whaty | 22 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | dolli | 16 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | VACation | 10 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | ScaR-x-FacE | 8 | 0.0036 |
| #5 | Mexenhenced | 6 | 0.0022 |





