








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 4 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 34 matches | ||
| Premier | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
714 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,836 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 959 | 25% |
| Smokes | 940 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1002 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 935 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $165,208 of utility $89 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | savg | 67% | 6 |
| #2 | typ1K4L | 40% | 47 |
| #3 | Tempuran | 36% | 14 |
| #4 | Gamige | 34% | 76 |
| #5 | katkit | 33% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | katkit | 33% | 6 |
| #6 | Toaster | 33% | 6 |
| #7 | Coochiemaru™ | 33% | 43 |
| #8 | milk | 29% | 38 |
| #9 | Apothecarious | 0% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gamige | 4 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | Tempuran | 2 | 0.0072 |
| #3 | typ1K4L | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | Coochiemaru™ | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gamige | 402 | 0.27 | 12 min |
| #2 | Coochiemaru™ | 133 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #3 | typ1K4L | 104 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #4 | milk | 63 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | Apothecarious | 39 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | savg | +4.23 | 74 | 67 |
| #2 | Coochiemaru™ | +2.08 | 64 | 68 |
| #3 | Cleb | -0.39 | 65 | 67 |
| #4 | Toaster | -0.51 | 31 | 36 |
| #5 | katkit | -0.51 | 10 | 80 |





