








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 102 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 35 matches | ||
| Premier | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1243 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,167 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1854 | 36% |
| Smokes | 1631 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 531 | 10% |
| Molotovs | 1151 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $345,585 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 14 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | savg | 67% | 9 |
| #2 | Jamie | 50% | 10 |
| #3 | Nate | 50% | 24 |
| #4 | typ1K4L | 40% | 57 |
| #5 | milk | 36% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Cleb | 34% | 76 |
| #8 | Tempuran | 33% | 12 |
| #9 | Lazermonkey | 32% | 19 |
| #10 | Apothecarious | 13% | 23 |
| #11 | izzy♡ | 13% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cleb | 10 | 0.0067 |
| #2 | Coochiemaru™ | 3 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | Tempuran | 2 | 0.0083 |
| #4 | milk | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | typ1K4L | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cleb | 307 | 0.21 | 7 min |
| #2 | Coochiemaru™ | 177 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #3 | typ1K4L | 122 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #4 | milk | 86 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | Apothecarious | 76 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jamie | +5.15 | 55 | 65 |
| #2 | savg | +2.38 | 69 | 65 |
| #3 | Coochiemaru™ | +1.73 | 64 | 66 |
| #4 | Nate | +0.59 | 80 | 67 |
| #5 | milk | -0.12 | 52 | 52 |





